Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops