If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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