You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

every knight i see an owl at window

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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