Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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PICKLES

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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