A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

Whats the defination of cruelty

what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

I C U P White stuff

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

i like it in the mouth

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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