when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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