Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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96

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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Penis

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops