Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Frontbut-

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Sex

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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