A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Hi.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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