Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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