There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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why is the sky blue? - because you have herpes.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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