Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops