What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

A baby seal walks into a club.

This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

Hats better than a stick? A stone

As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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