The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

24

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops