- Anti Joke

Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

Vagina Boob

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

do you have a wife?

Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherfing snakes on that motherfing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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