What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Penis

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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