Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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