Sometimes i'm hungry.

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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What do you call a white guy in a joke? The first joke to specify one of the people in the joke as one with Caucasian origin.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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Atheism

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What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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