what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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