Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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