Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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fish fishy caoimhin

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Hi

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops