How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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fish fishy caoimhin

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops