Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

what came first the chicken or the chips

What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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