What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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THe Election

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Knock knock Come in

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops