Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops