What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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jibby jobby

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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