Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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What african eat for christmas Sand.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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A man walked into a bar owch

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops