What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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