A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Badabing.

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Beka has AIDS

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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what smells like red paint, but tastes blue? my heroine OD panflets

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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