Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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