What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

Justin's life

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What's stupid a light bulb.

how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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