Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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