Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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Maths.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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