A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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