What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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