yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Huh, I never succeeded in any of those, and I tried a lot. Please tell me you never gone with something nasty like that...

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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So these two girls have a cup .

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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