What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what looks like a banana? a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock Go away

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops