Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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