how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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