Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops