Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who did that?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hey man. what? squidbillies.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops