Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops