What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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save me from the nothing ive become

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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