A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

thumb_up thumb_down

What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down

It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down

I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops