what did the dog say to the retarded black guy ? bark

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

thumb_up thumb_down +2

yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops