A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

thumb_up thumb_down -13

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who is big and stupid My brother

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops