What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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knock knock There's no door

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A pope meets another one

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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