Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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i love....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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