what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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