a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops