How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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Besides the kama-sutra, what is the most popular sex position in India? 68 and 88. Moral: Mutation people... mutation... use your imagination.., Still gotta feel a bit of envy/admiration, it is known as the happiest nation of the world, with a happiness rate with a constant well over 80 percent, and that is FAR over any other nation.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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