An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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Neither have I

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops