why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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